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Yesterday I took the new local Post and Courier manager to lunch to welcome him to Summerville. We went to McAlister's and when we ordered our sandwiches we were informed that they had not tomatoes. I asked the young lady why not? She proceeded to tell me about how there had been a break out of salmonella from tomatoes. I asked, what about local ones, South Carolina is not one of the states affected? She informed me that their food supply company used tomatoes from elsewhere and did not buy locally for produce etc. We had a nice tomato free lunch and continued on our way.
This morning a song sprang into my mind and would not go away. I automatically substituted Tomatoes for Bananas but I thought maybe we should record it. John could provide the accompanying music and Sarah could sing it. Then we can put it on a CD and distribute it to every restaurant that ignores our great local produce and also maybe put it on You Tube with any of you that want to volunteer, serving as dancers to dance to the music. Here it is:
"Yes, we no gotta de tomatoes. We no gotta-da tomato today,
but one-a menoots! We gotta new kinda garlic –
When-a use-a dees garlic, it-a meka you stand apart-a from-a you friends.
We gotta 64,000 watermelone! We don’t-a sell any, but the guy we buy’em from…Mama mia! Does he sell a watermelone!
But-a yes! We no gotta the tomatoes. Hey, why you-on?
We no gotta de tomatoes today!
Yes! Ah, we have no tomatoes! What’s that? An half a tomato? Now what good is a tomato split? Uh-huh-huh-huh! We have a muttons, and buttons, and kippers with zippers,and pounds of devaluated pounds…“Tomato”: S T I N K ! They ain’t no stinkin’ tomato! Precisely! They ain’t no stinking tomato!
Yes! Ah, we have no tomato! Pip pip, cheerio, and *******! Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh! "
Come on dudes and dudettes you can seeng dis music. Seeng it now, let eet mekka your day! Ah-hah! I see you dancing now! Not the hokey pokey! You got to sway to dis music! Do it now! 
It's that time of year again! Time to go to the beach! The bathing suits have been bought, someone (whom I shall not name) had a Bikini wax, the deal is done and the house is ready and waiting for us. No it was not John who had the Bikini wax. Not Brian either, although we were going to suggest a chest hair wax job for him. Sam and Josh are bouncing off the walls ready to go and they have promised me a Papa Birthday party on Monday the 7th at the beach. Watching those two have fun at the beach and later slump exhausted into their beds and fall immediately to sleep are all the presents I would ever want or need.
Speaking of birthdays, has anyone ever asked you, "Daddy what do you want for your birthday" or "well, the girls are asking what you want for your birthday?" You know it is a question we all should welcome but usually never have a ready reply. Thank God they love us enough to give us a present but what the heck do we want. Sure I could say, "I'll take a new Corvette or maybe you could give me the 47" Samsung LCD Hi-Def TV with the surround sound system and the Sony Playstation 3 with the Blue Ray player built in, or I think I would like a new quad core Desktop with a 32" hi-def monitor." Well you can always dream because you 'ain't' gone to get that. Of course then I am tempted to go to the other end of the spectrum of choice and say, "oh just get me new nose hair clippers, or how about a new pack of eyeglass wipes. Maybe I could get a pedicure because it hurts to bend over that far now." Really do we really need anything when you have reached the ripe old age of 62. I'm like one of those beautiful apples you see all waxed up and waiting in the produce section at Publix. Let me just sit here and gleam at you. I am happy.See you on the beach!! Oh by the way, a nice thick rare porterhouse steak and a baked potato might be nice or a...................................Well never mind then Miss Lucy!
